Selfish Self-Care? Striking a Balance in Social Settings

Hello!

It's Monday, but it feels like Sunday as I've just returned from a weekend away in Whistler. I'm happy to share that I've already unpacked and begun tackling the first of two loads of laundry—truly crushing it! (Pictures included at the end!)

Today I want to talk about honouring YOUR values and preferences amidst social expectations, especially when they go against the grain.And if you're a people pleaser like me, this can feel EXTRA hard.

This past weekend I went to a weekend work event (it was work related but thankfully it was pretty casual) with Ryan, surrounded by new faces and couples.

I engaged in lots of NEW meaningful conversations with individuals one-on-one or within a small group. These gatherings often involve socializing, drinks, and late nights—sounds fun right?!

However, here's where I can get caught up in my own thoughts of over-analyzing my decisions, and maybe you can relate too.

I'm not much of a drinker, and I naturally feel my energy fade once 10 PM hits (or even earlier!). While I can rally and make the best of it, there comes a point when I have to turn it in and say goodnight.

Sometimes, it feels like I should stay out longer, and leaving at 10:30 PM when others are doing shots can be a tad awkward. But once I crawl into my bed, I have ZERO regrets. After all, nothing truly great happens past that hour, right????

Let's talk about another scenario from that weekend...

On the first morning, all the wives decided to meet for breakfast and coffee at 9 AM after a late night of socializing. However, I chose to text the ladies in the morning, explaining that I would meet them after breakfast.

Why? Well, I wanted to start my day off with a workout and get my endorphins flowing. It was also crucial for me to have an extra hour of solo time—a personal recharge to be the best version of myself throughout the day filled with activities and constant interaction.

These choices go against the grain, don't they?

Not drinking when everyone else is, being the first one to retire early on consecutive nights, and opting for solo time instead of joining for breakfast.

As a people pleaser, it isn't always easy for me. The decision not to drink comes naturally, but choosing to step away early or aligning my schedule with what works best for me can be challenging. I never want anyone to perceive me as "boring," "less fun," or "selfish."

But it's because I choose to honour what I need, I'm able to be fully engaged and genuinely enjoy their company. I just need to approach it in a way that authentically suits me and aligns with my values, preferences, and goals.

Did I have an incredible weekend? Absolutely. Did I have fun? Without a doubt. Am I now part of a new text group, connecting with women from across Canada and the States? Indeed.

And did I remain steadfast in what's important to me, even when it's not the "cool" thing to do? Absolutely. Was it always effortless? Not at all. But was it the right choice for me? Absolutely, and without a shadow of a doubt.

So, let's normalize going to bed early, saying no to alcohol when it doesn't resonate, embracing early morning workouts, and nourishing our bodies with healthy choices.

Of course, we can indulge in the opposite occasionally and still lead balanced lives. Yet, I share this because, among those 14 individuals I spent the weekend with, I was the only one who chose these paths. So, let's normalize it. It's perfectly okay.

Don't be afraid to prioritize YOUR self-care, and stay true to yourself even amidst societal expectations and pressures.

Sending strength and encouragement to go against the grain,

Alicia

Selfish Self-Care? Striking a Balance in Social Settings

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